hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
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Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
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The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction