somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?