my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Lo siento on account of my penis...