His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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