I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
