I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
