Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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