You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship