Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian

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  (415): i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian http://tfl.nu/vq1a
  Replies (8) Good night (1999) Bad night (946)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me if I "almost moaned"

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  (336): He asked me if I "almost moaned" http://tfl.nu/8ba0
  Replies (27) Good night (730) Bad night (4763)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.

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  (305): She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back. http://tfl.nu/82hh
  Replies (12) Good night (675) Bad night (10691)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.

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  (403): She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl. http://tfl.nu/n4eu
  Replies (6) Good night (3796) Bad night (919)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.

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  (304): I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster. http://tfl.nu/69p8
  Replies (34) Good night (3562) Bad night (2378)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.

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  (503): There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize. http://tfl.nu/694m
  Replies (8) Good night (4456) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.

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  (317): The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints. http://tfl.nu/xoq4
  Replies (6) Good night (980) Bad night (4785)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed

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  (630): yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed http://tfl.nu/06jt
  Replies (6) Good night (1138) Bad night (3011)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List

  (914): View more from New York

  Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)

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  (914): He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List (914): Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired) http://tfl.nu/bfp9
  Replies (28) Good night (1870) Bad night (955)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.

  (214): View more from Texas

  I still make more money.

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  (817): Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions. (214): I still make more money. http://tfl.nu/pibf
  Replies (6) Good night (2559) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.

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  (916): I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina. http://tfl.nu/c8ir
  Replies (9) Good night (1373) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun

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  (919): You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun http://tfl.nu/syyf
  Replies (1) Good night (887) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.

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  (978): Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on. http://tfl.nu/i5sb
  Replies (2) Good night (1018) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.

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  (256): That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was. http://tfl.nu/kyou
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?

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  (615): You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass... (931): And you wonder why you're always one of the guys? http://tfl.nu/4fld
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (321)

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