FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.