Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
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just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
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I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this