Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move. http://tfl.nu/t85w
  Replies (17) Good night (2729) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I can tuck mytits in my pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I can tuck mytits in my pants http://tfl.nu/5g26
  Replies (27) Good night (478) Bad night (2641)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  Well... I doubt that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them. (1-859): Well... I doubt that. http://tfl.nu/5uw1
  Replies (25) Good night (1425) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet http://tfl.nu/7t8x
  Replies (9) Good night (653) Bad night (1931)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear? http://tfl.nu/9u5k
  Replies (111) Good night (1427) Bad night (5509)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45. http://tfl.nu/maq6
  Replies (40) Good night (6474) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses http://tfl.nu/98sm
  Replies (10) Good night (2654) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad. http://tfl.nu/yao2
  Replies (9) Good night (792) Bad night (2983)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  She's the barista slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): She's the barista slut. http://tfl.nu/aqi5
  Replies (14) Good night (2575) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode. http://tfl.nu/vudg
  Replies (4) Good night (2360) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect http://tfl.nu/8hkz
  Replies (1) Good night (931) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Another sexterpiece awaits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits (1-919): Another sexterpiece awaits http://tfl.nu/xw4q
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up. http://tfl.nu/8sfz
  Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far. http://tfl.nu/v6o0
  Replies (0) Good night (289) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? http://tfl.nu/jvqk
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (215)

Randomize