Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
