btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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