I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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