It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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