I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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