Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
