so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
