The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
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Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
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There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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