I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
