just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have fence marks all over my body
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
