dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
