So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
