Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am naked and annoyed.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
