Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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