I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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