jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
