I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
