so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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