I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
