New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
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