Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
