My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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