is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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