Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
