You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
