nut hugger
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
