i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
