i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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