OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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