dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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