Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
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All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
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You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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