Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
