we made out on top of his cat.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
