i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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