Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
