I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
