there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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