I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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