As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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