Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
