And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
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For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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