why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
