I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
