it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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