well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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