all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
