I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I have fence marks all over my body
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
