Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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