I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
