Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
