I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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