i was born a porn star she said
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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