dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
