Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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